||Alan Cox, Leon Thrane, Jim Finnis, Alec Muffet & (?)
Here's a set of pseudosongs which is the result of several long drunken nights talking on a bulletin board between London & Aberystwyth (220+ miles apart)... circa 1988.
The Alternative Wall
Established by:- Anarchy, Atropos, White,
Roadrunner, & Giant Hogweed.
I got keyboard corns on my fingers,
I got a Ethernet Pad for a brain,
I got a VDU to prop up my mortal remains.
My programs always fail,
I got a strong urge to MAIL
But I got no-one to MAIL to,
Oh, babe, when I send down the phone,
There's still nobody on...
The Alternative Wall, Part Two.
Does anybody here remember DEC?
Remember how the manual
Was useless to me
In every way.
UNIX, what has become of you?
Can any other O/S be quite as slow as you...
The Alternative Wall, Part Three.
Good Morning, ROOT, your honour,
The dump will plainly show the user who now stands before you
Was caught red-handed in the system
Crudely hacking in a truly vicious nature
This will not do!
CALL THE LOGFILE!
"I always said he'd come to no good didn't I, ROOT, your honour,
If they let me have my way I'd have him banned from the VAX!
But my hands were tied,
The bleeding hearts and artists
Not to mention the Dave Prices
Wouldn't let me throw him off!"
-- Dedicated to Atropos The Wanderer.
The Alternative Wall, Part Four.
The UNIX Login Software
Is there anybody out there?
(repeat ad nauseam)
The Alternative Wall, Part Five.
One of My Hacks
Log onto the system
On that lurid green screen
You'll find there's no response!
Don't look so frightened,
this is just a passing crash,
One of my bad hacks!
Would you like to watch TV,
Well, that's no use to me
I want to watch you squirm
As you try to get logged on!
Do you want to call the OPS,
Do you think it's time I stopped?
Why are you running away?
The Alternative Wall, Part Six.
Filled Up Spaces / What Shall We Do Now?
What shall we use to trash
The filled up spaces on the archive tape?
How should I hack and leave no traces,
How shall the system completely fall?
The Alternative Wall, Part Seven.
Hello, is there anybody on here?
I'm here but can you see me?
Is there anyone at home?
C'mon now, I hear that MIST is down,
I can ease the pain, maybe bring it up again.
Relax, I need some information first,
Just the basic facts, have you hacked the system Snurt?
There is no shell, your call is clearing,
The distant chips smoke on the breadboard,
You are only coming through off pads,
Your fingers move but I can't see what you're typing.
When I was a child I caught a virus,
My filebase swelled just like two balloons
Now I've got that feeling once again,
I can't explai(core dumped), you would not understand,
This is not how I am.
I have become uncomfortably numb.
The Alternative Wall, Part Eight.
In a Flash
Might like to
Go to the show
To feel the thrill of board hacking,
That luminescent glow.
I've got some bad news for you, sunshine
OPS not around, 'cos Node 5 is down,
And they sent us along, they've gone to the bar,
And we're going to find out who you guys
Have we got any oppos on the system tonight?
Grep 'em up against the wall.
There's one on Bullet,
He don't look right to me,
Grep him up agaist the wall.
That one's called Badger,
And that one's Tyrone,
Who let all this riffraff on their own;
There's one smoking a joint and
Another with sandals?
If I had my way
I'd have all of you shot.