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Original song French Horn Concerto No 4 for French Horn by Mozart, based on the arrangement and lyrics by...
Original artist Flanders and Swann
Filk author Russell Street
Intro The original starts:

    I once had a whim and I had to obey it
    To by a french horn in a second hand shop
    I polished it up and I started to play it
    Inspite of my neighbour who begged me to stop

The music was rearranged for a piano, so these lyrics may not fit any orchestral version of the "original".

French Horn Concerto (for modem users)

I once had a whim and I had to obey it
To by a modem from a second hand shop
I made up a cable and I started to use it
In spite of my girlfriend who begged me to stop

To use my modem, I had to change my sleeping habits
I found that I could only get on at night
So many boards abound -- to give you a world, a beatuiful world so rich and round
Oh the hours I had to spend before I got onto them it in the end

But that was yesterday and just to day I looked in the the usual place
There was the modem, but the cable itself was missing
Where can it have gone? Haven't you -- hasn't anyone seen my cable
Where can it have gone? What a blow, know I know I'm unable to read my net news

Who wipped that cable? I bet you a quid somebody did.
Knowing I had found a news group and wanted to read it
Afraid of my talents in talk.bizzare
For early today to my utter dismay it had vanished away to the ???? morn

I've lost that cable. I know I was using it yesterday
I've lost that cable, lost that cable, found that cable -- gorn
There's not much else to say -- I had better delay a report (?)

I know some party folk whose party jokes pretending to hunt with quart (?)
Gone away -- gone away -- was it one of them took it away?
Would you kindly return that serial cable -- where is the devil who pinched my cable?

I took it to the net.police -- I want that serial cable back
I miss my news more and more and more
With out that chat I'm feeling sad and so forlorn
Oh oh oh oh oh oh....

I found a board and wanted to play use it to display my talents in talk.bizzare
But early to day to my utter dismay it had totally vanished away

I thought up some stuff and I wanted to send it, but somebody took it away
I thought up some stuff and was longing to send it, but somebody took it away

My girlfriend is a sleep in her bed.
I will soon make her wish I was dead
I'll take up nethack instead
Whaaa, whaaa

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