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Original song Sledgehammer
Original artist Peter Gabriel
Filk author Unknown
Intro (to the tune of "Sledgehammer". Apologies to Peter Gabriel)

Programmer

You could have some FORTRAN.
I will write your subroutine
You could have some C and Ada
I will rev up your machine

Why don't you just hire me?
I'll code anything you need

You can have some Pascal;
You type 'IF' and I'll type 'THEN'
You can have some Lisp code 'EVAL'-ing
May the recursion never end!

(I wanna be your) Programmer!
Why don't you use my code!
(Let me be your) Programmer!
Just compile and load, no problem

I can deal with SNOBOL
I can even handle APL
But I won't deal with COBOL
No one can put me through that hell!

(I wanna be your) Programmer!
Go on and use my code
(So let me be your) Programmer!
Just compile and load, and run it
Hey, look at ME! (I'm a) Programmer!
An algorithms' man
(So nice to be a) Programmer
I'm raking fifty grand, just writing
code.
Code.
Programmer!

(interlude)

I LIKE TO HACK!

I dig assembler (dig assembler)
Wrote my HEX2BIN
I built the kernel (oh, what a kernel!)
Put my drivers in
(yeah yeah yeah) Load for me! (load for me)
I will port you through
Load for me! (load for me)
I will port you through

I want real neat tools!
I wanna build compilers!Build compilers now!
NOW!
I want, I want microcode!
I want, I want microcode!

YACC YACC YACC YACC YACC YACC YACC YACCYACC!

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