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Original song Twas the Night Before Christmas
Original artist Unknown (Christmas)
Filk author Unknown

Twas the Night Before Implementation

Twas the Night Before Implementation, and all through the house
not a program was working, not even a browse.
The programmers hung by their tubes in despair,
with hopes that a miracle soon would be there.
The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of enhancements danced in their heads.
When out of the elevator arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
And what to my wandering eyes should appear
but a super programmer (with a six pack of beer).
His resume glowed with experience so rare,
he turned out great code with a bit pushers flair.
More rapid than engines, his programs they came,
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On Delete!
On Batch Job! On Closing! On Functions Complete!"
His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,
from weekends and nights spent in front of a screen.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
soon gave me to know that I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
turning specs into code, then turned with a jerk,
and laying his finger upon the "enter" key,
the system came up and worked perfectly.
The updates updated, the deletes they deleted,
the inquires inquired and the closings completed.
He tested each program and tested each call,
with nary an UAE, all had gone well.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded,
the users last changes were even included.
And the user exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
"Its just what I asked for, BUT ITS NOT WHAT I WANT!"

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