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Original song If
Original artist Rudyard Kipling
Filk author Anastasia Levin


If you can keep your computer on, while those about you
Are crashing theirs and blaming it on you.
If you can run a game while all men doubt you
But make allowence for their doubting too,
If you can wait, and not be tired of waiting
For the 5megabyte program to load
When you know its you thcomputers hating.
Its because of you the computer slowed.

If you can dream of an ultimate anti-virus
If you can think, but fix compiter is your main aim

If you can meet with the computer pirates
Who infected the Win 95 mainframe.
If you can bear to see thprogram youve written
Destroyed by the millenium bug.
Or your desktop pet, your kitten
Meet its maker, and you only shrug.

If you can make one heap of all your software
And risk it on one game of Quake
Then lose, and say I dont care
But,oh, dont gloat, for Petes sake.
If you can force your monitor and modem
To serve your turn long after you have ceased to be.
And have you made a game that showed em
You can program in AED?

If you can make a site and keep your virtue
Deal with a bug, nor lose the common touch.
If neither your PC, nor anyones can hurt you,
If all computers count with you, but none too much.
If you can say In a minute!
Fulfill your promise, and still stay sane
Yours is the Web and everything in it.
Oh no, my modems crashed هاوىٌ

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